- Anti Joke

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Knock knock! no answer KNOCK KNOCK! still no answer the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

I have a really funny joke.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Knock knock! no answer KNOCK KNOCK! still no answer the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

I have a really funny joke.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

I have a really funny joke.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock! no answer KNOCK KNOCK! still no answer the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks