Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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7+5=12

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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