Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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