Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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