A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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