Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops