Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

what's the difference between a crocodile?

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

Women's Rights..

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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