A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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