A seal walks into a club.

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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My penis is big... not.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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no

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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