Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops