Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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your going to die

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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