What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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