2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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