david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops