Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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