"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Oh, go away

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Penis chickens

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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