When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -7

this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops