What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops