how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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who is awesome? no one...

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A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops