- Anti Joke

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

My name is me I like fired chicken!

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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