Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Who invented apple? God

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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