What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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