Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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