A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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