Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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You having friends.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops