Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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