What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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