Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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