hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the black man blind? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops