how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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