Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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general tso's broccoli

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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