Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Your mom

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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