Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

Your Mum is soo fat.

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

masturbating on a tarc bus

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

well use a tissue!

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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