Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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