A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

thumb_up thumb_down -14

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

your life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -14

vote this down and i will DOX you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

CFL

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops