Youre mom is so dead...

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

My dad

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

yada yada

penisvaginaorgasm

A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

A Pakistani news reader.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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