Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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