What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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