A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops