If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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