"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -21

BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops