Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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