What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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this is stupid .... yep

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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