why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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Your gay

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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