What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops