how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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