What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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whats 7+4? 74

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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