What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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