Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does water smell like? water.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

thumb_up thumb_down -24

guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops