Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops