why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Basically copying you.

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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