Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

thumb_up thumb_down -22

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops