Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Of course, first door on your left

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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